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Kim's Blog |
 I was let go from my full time job – not laid off, just dismissed without cause – a little over a year ago. I have only been let go twice in my career. It was hard to accept, but eventually I was able to move on. These days, unfortunately, getting let go or laid off seems to be an almost universal experience. High-performing people are being let go every day with no reason and no warning, resulting in a brutal experience that cannot easily be put into context, understood, or accepted. If you have been laid off recently, there are things you can do to make the transition more manageable, if not smooth. Here are some of the phases and actions that have been common and helpful for many of my coaching clients and for me: GRIEVE – Take time to acknowledge the experience and the many feelings involved in losing your job. Let yourself feel the normal mix of emotions, including shock, disbelief, guilt, anger, sadness, and confusion. GET GROUNDED – You may be grieving for quite some time, but the pressure to move forward and face reality is also there. Before springing into action to figure out what is next, first find your footing by taking stock of the resources and people available to help you through this time. Tell the people in your life what has happened and that you are likely going to need their support and understanding for a while. Accept their offers to listen and to help. Ask for what you need. If you do not know what you need, tell them that; but still take them up on any offers of help that might ease your burden, even just a little. You do not have to go through this alone. SELF-CARE – This is something that is hard for many of us, even in good times, especially women and anyone who has multiple life roles and responsibilities that include taking care of other people. Taking care of yourself is important, always, but particularly when you are needing to heal from a big jolt like a layoff or other loss. You deserve to make time for yourself and experiment with activities that help you start to feel whole again. Some of my favorites are taking long baths, naps, and walks; reading; and spending time and laughing with friends and family. What works best for you? ASSESS – As soon as you are ready, but not sooner, begin to assess where you might want to go from here. Do you need to find another full time job? What about part time work? What types of jobs or position titles are of interest? How soon do you want/need to be back to work? Could you afford to intentionally take a longer break to do a deeper dive into what’s next? Are there professional development opportunities or skill building steps you could take while you are looking for jobs? Is your LinkedIn Profile up to date? What about your resume? Keep a journal or notebook of all your ideas, needs, the timing of activities, and who could help you move forward. NETWORK – Yes, the dreaded networking suggestion! For many years early in my career, I quickly dismissed anyone else’s suggestion that I network for what I wanted professionally. I had “gone to school forever” and believed that it should be about WHAT you know, not WHO you know. By mid-career, I had to admit that I was wrong. In my professional opinion, the two most important things in finding a job are networking and persistence! Contact people you know (friends, family, former coworkers and managers, neighbors) and people you do not yet know (in job positions and/or companies of interest), to let them know you are looking for a job. Boil down the results of your ASSESS phase, above, to develop an elevator pitch about the top two or three positions of interest to you. Make it memorable – and brief – enough that you will spring to their mind when they hear about that type of job! APPLY – Keep networking, but also start applying for jobs before you are fully ready… we never feel ready! Enlist or hire a professional resume writer if you need help describing your previous roles and professional accomplishments. Update your LinkedIn Profile, search for people on LinkedIn to network with, and contact companies of interest even if they do not currently list any job openings. Let everyone know you are looking and applying for what’s next. Keep a record of your applications, interviews, rejection emails, etc. This often feels grueling, but you also get to know yourself better – and meet new people – along the way. REPEAT – The two layoffs I endured recently were only 15 months apart, with less than a year spent in each of those roles. It sucked. As a result, I had to repeat the steps in the above process way before I was ready to go through that again! But I got through it. The sooner you realize that you are the only one who can manage your career, the better off you will be. It is up to you, but you have what it takes, and you can do hard things! Best wishes for what’s next. You got this. *This blog post was originally posted as a LinkedIn post on 3/20/2025. If you want to Comment on or Repost this piece of writing, please do so from LinkedIn using the link below. Thank you!
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 Some people I work with on leadership development and career management have a hard time seeing themselves as leaders. Many of these individuals are mid- to late-career women with decades of experience and job titles that clearly denote a high level of responsibility and influence. These leaders readily share with me that they just don’t see themselves as leaders, no matter what other people or ‘the facts’ indicate. Their view of themselves somehow does not adequately match up with the characteristics that they ascribe to “leaders.” Why does their self-perception matter? If you do not see yourself as a capable leader, then you are less likely to consistently spearhead teams of people to effectively work together to get results for your organization and stakeholders. --- What about you? Do you see yourself as a leader in your paid work role, or in other roles you occupy? If so, what behaviors do you engage in that show you are a leader? What is your definition of a leader? If you do not see yourself as a leader, what are your reasons for this view of yourself? What would need to be ‘true’, or what would need to change, for you to see yourself as a leader and operate accordingly? --- There are many factors that, when present, might enable a person to view themselves as ‘leader material’. Here are a few that come to mind: POSITION TITLE – Some people have position titles that increase the chances that they are seen (and see themselves) as leaders or executives. Position or job title appears to be a straightforward indicator, but it takes some people more time in their role before they accept that they really are a leader. Matrixed organizations and other institutions vary in the titles they construct and use to designate various levels of leadership within and across functions, divisions, and industries. As a result, there is less likely to be a shared understanding of which titles denote leaders versus those that do not. INFLUENCE AND IMPACT – Each individual leader, as well as the people that surround them, may view their status as a leader based on cues like the amount of influence, impact, and responsibility that the person exhibits and exercises in their role. Some people and organizations also make a distinction between “people leaders”, “function leaders”, “project leaders”, “program managers”, etc. However, it appears that many organizations today have a broader understanding of what it means to be a leader than simply whether you lead people. PROFESSIONAL IDENTITY – Whether you see yourself as a leader or not might also be impacted by how you were raised, or socialized, into the world of work. For instance, do you identify as someone who has a job, a career, a calling, a professional identity, or none of the above? How did your parent(s) view and talk about their work when you were younger? What messages about work did you retain and carry forward, versus reject and replace with your own insights and goals for your career? In my case, my sense of career changed dramatically as I moved from lower-income farm kid to first-generation college student, to graduate student studying adult career development, to corporate manager roles and beyond. Even discussing one’s conception of career decision-making can often signal a certain level of socioeconomic and systemic privilege. What do you see as the advantages and disadvantages of having a strong professional identity? Or is this not even a concept that comes to mind when you think of your career or the leaders you know? OWNING IT – Do you ever watch some leaders at work and feel a sense of awe in how they seem to effortlessly “own” their role and command the room or situation at hand to get results? Perhaps you are someone who comfortably and consistently owns your role. When we think of other leaders and ourselves, it is easy to see how different we all are in the extent to which we embody our leadership roles, as well as the extent to which people are willing to see us as leaders and follow us. As I work with leaders, I rely on the research and writings of many experts including Herminia Ibarra. Ibarra’s book, Act like a leader, think like a leader (Harvard Business Review Press, 2015), presents actionable research on “owning it”, such as avoiding the "I need to be authentic no matter what" trap and taking results-driven action as a leader even when you don't feel like one. MODEL THE WAY – “You either lead by example or you don't lead at all” (Kouzes & Posner, 2010). This is one of the truths outlined in the book, The truth about leadership: The no-fads heart-of-the-matter facts you need to know, by James M. Kouzes and Barry Posner. In this book, these prolific authors distill their decades of research into leadership truths that include extensive evidence regarding how vital it is for each leader to model the way. --- I will ask again -- Do you see yourself as a leader? If your answer is no, then it becomes far less likely that you can own it, model the way, and exercise the levels of leadership influence and impact that lead to results for your organization, teams, and other stakeholders. Independent of your answer, there is always room for improvement and growth! What can you do tomorrow and the next day/week/year to revise and improve your conceptions and behaviors as an exceptional leader who other people will gladly follow? *This blog post was originally posted as a LinkedIn Article on 3/27/2025. If you want to Comment on or Repost this piece of writing, please do so from LinkedIn using the link below. Thank you!
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