Kim's Blog

​Please know that no matter how you are feeling and responding these days to the challenges you face, you are responding normally to abnormal situations. I took the above header phrase from the second last sentence of this short Greater Good article (Q & A) with a psychiatrist:

Tips for Calming Your Pandemic Stress

I found this article by searching for information on how much we humans need social support. When I am feeling my worst and/or my busiest, that is when I most need time with friends. However, that is also the time when I am less likely to call people or to ask them to get together. This was true before the pandemic, and now there are new complexities and layers of weirdness attached to socializing!

How about you? Has your need for time with friends and/or family changed from before the pandemic? What changes have you made in your social life during the pandemic, and are those changes working for you? If not, what tweaks could you make to be more intentional about getting your (social and other) needs met during this time?

You are not alone, even when you feel alone. There are so many people all over the world who are going through the same or similar thoughts and feelings as you. I hope you are getting your social support needs met. If not, I hope you make time to reach out to people you care about, for some mutually rewarding discussions about these abnormal times.

At the beginning of the month, a teacher friend of mine was allowed back into school to retrieve the rest of her belongings from her classroom. She had not been there since mid-March of 2020. An administrator checked her into the building per their protocol, and she started walking down the hall. While walking, she just started to cry. "My body was crying, and my brain was so surprised, wondering what was happening!" She gave herself permission to keep crying and then sobbing once she was inside her classroom. She later told me, "I realized what I had taken for granted, in that school, with the students I love. My body was grieving the loss of all of that time in person with them."

In my back yard yesterday morning, my friend told me this story. After she left, I went in the house and asked Google to play, "It's Alright to Cry" by Rosie Greer, part of the 1972 Marlo Thomas album, Free to Be You and Me. One daughter liked it, the other one not so much.

With the pandemic and ongoing racial injustices and racist systems, I am more aware than ever of my white privilege. I am not usually able to 'allow' myself to be sad or to feel loss for very long. But Rosie Greer is right -- It's alright to cry. Part of having self-compassion is being able to acknowledge the things we are sad about or have lost, even if we know that we have it easier than so many other people. When is the last time you cried?

Caring for Yourself and Others

I know you have what it takes for you to keep going in these trying times. Best wishes with your work, relationships, responsibilities, challenges, and joys.
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When you are feeling overwhelmed, please consider the value of doing "Bare Minimum" as a way of coping, saving energy, staying sane, etc. This is something I feel compelled to bring up with certain clients, especially women who self-identify as perfectionistic and/or workaholic! Bare Minimum involves doing considerably less than what you would typically do for a work project, task, favor, etc.

How often do you go above and beyond what your boss, team, family, or other people in your work-life expect? What toll does keeping up that level of performance take on you -- physically, mentally, and socially? Might there be certain projects or tasks for which you can do less work? How would that feel? In what ways might that free you up? What impact would that have on your body, mind, and spirit? What would you do instead with the time you free up for yourself?

Independent of how long this pandemic lasts, we are (or can be) in control of how we approach our work and other life roles. What can you do to improve your overall well-being, in ways that only you will likely notice and that won't get you anywhere near fired?! Practice "Bare Minimum", tell a friend about it, and see how it goes!